Its the dawn of the arbit GDs, Da ..

Its that time of year, when the butterflies fly serenely across a field of flowers, when the stag eyes the doe, when the ice melts and gives way to new life.... and when 10 people scream their lungs out trying to be the 'moderator'.

thats right, Group Discussions/Personal Interviews(GD/PI) for admission into the Indian Institutes of Management have begun. An old friend of mine gave me a call saying that he needed some tips for the process to come. I reminisced some of my experiences at the time...
I had calls from Lucknow(L), Indore(I), and Kozhikode(K). My first GDPI was for K.

I had been to the GDPI training module that T.I.M.E had organised, and felt pretty comfy. After all, its only a GD.(actually, thats what i told myself to calm down. i was a nervous git at the time). 8 people were called in, i was one of them. I socialised with a few, got to know their names and backgrounds (couldnt help noticing that the girl in the black suit looked awesome). We were seated in an oval, with a piece of paper kept blankside-up in front of us. 2 minutes given to prepare, 10 to discuss, the rules said. The prof signaled the start of the 2 minutes. I was under-confident to the point that i almost got stomach cramps when i saw the topic -

'Chinese hamburgers are the next big thing'.

WTF ?? i want 'Red is Green' or similar sounding abstract topics!!... not some crap of this sort!! I could see no trace of surprise on any of the other people's faces. That makes me the only 'glober' in the GD. Golden Rule - 'Dont Panic. theyre all, mostly harmless'. I took the first minute to calm down, and the second to jot down arbit points. This should be an abstract topic.. what the hell is a chinese hamburger ??

The guy from Delhi started out 'Given the abstract nature of the topic, id like to take a view on this; i think the 'chinese hamburger' is representative of ... blah ... and so i think the GDP plays a huge factor."

Ok, i shudve listened, hes brought in the god damn GDP. evasive manoeuver - the remaining 7 of us fight for a chance to talk, i lead the pack by waiting for the calm, and then raising volume - 'I completely agree with the GDP dude, but i feel a different view is required to realise in full what the topic suggests.(man, i can talk like that??)'

'See, the chinese hamburger is a reference to the impact of globalisation on the development of the world ... blah ... cultures blend, giving rise to everything from new tech to new cuisine ... blah ... chinese is symbolic of 'east' and hamburger of 'west' ... more blah'.

There, im happy now. starting with ' I agree with him ... ' never fails. thats rule no. 2. The GD progresses on these lines, with smaller contributions from my side. Phew, that wasnt so bad, was it?

We were asked to wait outside the room, while members of the group were singled out and called back in for the personal interview.

I had no idea what was gonna hit me next. I was the 3rd person called for the interview; twas a pretty long wait, anxiety doing its worst. After frantic attempts to find out what the questions were like from the people who went in before me, it was my turn. I learnt that there were 2 profs - bald guy and silent killer. Why they called him silent killer, i was going to find out.

Bald Guy - come in, come in.. have a seat...
Silent Killer - *blank*
Poor Me - (took the seat)
BG - so, Chennai eh?? whats the city like?(im from Madras, now called chennai)
PM - Oh, its good... historic city with innumerable cultural influences.. (WTF?? stop globing, idiot...)
BG - aah, im sure. so, tell me abt urself...
PM - (usual blah)
BG - astronomer eh?? (he was one too... thus followed 40 qs on telescope adjustment, stars, and constellations. all answered well, thankfully)

BG - so, mr srivats, watcha think of the GD ??
PM - (dude........) yeah, it was ok... served its purpose...
BG - good... good ... now, ur an electronics engineer??
PM - thats right dude...
BG - why mba, mac ??
PM - usual blah...
BG - aah, starting a company?? nice... very nice... what kind of company??
PM - (hey! ur supposed to be impressed and stop at that... dimwit...) (some more blah)
BG - interesting... interesting...
SK - hang on... u have this subject called, 'engineering economics and financial accounting...??'
PM - (oh shit... why me? why that? why now? damn u to hell, silent killer!!) yeah, so?
SK - whatcha learn, mac?
PM - oh, the usual - demand curves, some balance sheet etc - but it is not my forte... (:D)
SK - (evil grin) im sure.... so, what are the two sides of a balance sheet ??
PM - oh easy... (hang on, what are the two sides?? dude, i knew this!!) im not very sure sir...
SK - cmon srivats, im sure u can do better than that...
PM - well, at ur insistence, il hazard a guess..
BG and SK - yeah????


PM - income, and outcome...

BG, SK - hahahahaha, hohohohohohoho, hhehhehhehhhheeeeee, this guy is too good!!!
PM - haha, ahem, yeah.. haha...

that was the end. the finishing move. i committed sepukku in my first IIM GDPI. I was only hoping that theyd realise that it was a mistake any non commerce guy cud make...(yeah right!).

Luckily, they did want me back to teach me what the two sides really were, and more at K. but then, im here at I, and loving it...!! (:D)