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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Machan, I cant talk to babies da....

4 Expert Comments

Yeah, i just discovered that i need to work on baby talk.

Heres how:
A good friend of mine was in town a while ago, and i thought id drop in. I knew that she had a daughter who was around 10 months old, what i dint know was that this fact changed a lot of things...

I went to her place on a saturday afternoon, with some candy for the kid, which was grabbed from my hand and surreptiously smuggled into the kitchen, lest there be hue and cry for candy that very instant. We got around to discussing how things were/have been/should be/shouldnt be/going to be etc. Thats when the kid came into the picture.

She came to her mom, and said something unintellegible. Then the kid's grandmother enters and says 'that means she wants her doll' or something to that effect..

At this moment, her mother picks her up and says 'oogie poogie, doll veynuma?? enna maa? achuchuchucho... ' and more gobbledegook.

When people do this, they look very very stupid. I personally think this activity has no value-add in parent-child relationship cos im sure the kid shared my opinion. anyways, there i was watching all the fun, when the mother says -

mom - 'want to talk to anna ?' (want to talk to the elder bro ?)
kid- dosent seem to mind
mom - 'here, u talk for a while...'

me - 'what? me? no, no way'
mom - 'oh cmon, she wont bite !'
me(to myself) - thats not what im worried about !!

the lil kid gets shoved into my hands, and then a million thoughts ran thru my head...
1. maybe i shud imitate what the mom was doing ?
2. better, shud i just introduce myself?
3. how is that better? idiot, do something !!

thats when i remembered charlie waffle. Charlie Waffle is a character uncle charlie plays in an episode of Two and a half men, but his reasons were on a totally different level. i followed his modus operandi.

I looked at the baby, and started singing what i usually say to new people i meet... 'Hi!! how are you ?? ...' (more like speaking in a tune, with characteristically high noted starts and stops, with low noted mid-segments)

The kid loved it. She wouldnt get off me, and had the cutest laugh ive heard.

I still have to perfect my technique, and still maintain that adults sound amazingly stupid when the talk that way. (There was another instant when the grandmother tried something similar and the kid started crying, which was even more hilarious :D)