I look good in that, Da ...

Great people have said that theres no love like self love. Anyone wishing to misconstrue that to suit their own nefarious purposes are free to, so long as its not on the comments section :D ..

What embodies self love more than monuments to the self ?? Pharoahs built monuments to themselves. Roman dictator Caligula had 17 stone masons each carve out 3 statues a year depicting him neck up, and roman atheletes neck down. 

Anyhoo, most of us dont have the time or the money to comission odes our god given beauty. We do what we've been doing for 2 million years now - improvise.

A guy named Orkut Buyukkokten came up with the social networking idea with Orkut, and then Mark Zuckerberg came up with Facebook. Both these websites offer its members the freedom to upload photos. Unlimited number of photos. 

BANG. It was like the WalMART for compulsive narcissist. I was logging into Orkut sometime ago, when I noticed in the 'recent updates' section that one of my friends had uploaded 17 photos of himself, all different poses. I would like to emphasise 'poses'. The same clothes, same hairstyle, same everything except the 'pose'. You can equate 'pose' to stance, look on the face, whatever.

I could not resist a small q and a.

Me : Dude, why all the photos ? is that like On-Demand, or launching a new product ?

Compulsive Narcissist (CN) : WTF ? uve uploaded photos of urself too !!

DISCLAIMER : True. I did uploaded photos of myself. Photos that I thought brought out the best looking me. But hey, thats just 1 photo, among other non-me photos, and recommonded for upload by entitites other than myself.

CN : So what ? I have other photos too ! Hypocrite !

Me : Ok. Your album has 158 photos, 20 of which feature you standing in front of a wall, photographing yourself. And of the 158, 16 dont have you, but they are pictures of wallpapers hooked off some other websites. and 40 have you standing with other people....

CN : So?

Me : Nothing, im just surprised that you have a different photo for every way you can twitch your eyebrows, and add captions like 'you lookin at me?'  and 'im sad..' and 'watcha!' .... among others....

CN : The babes want that man !!

Me : No kidding... So whats the news on that front da ? Ive been hearing some stuff...

etc etc. The conversation went on.

My point here is simple - the internet is a very  very powerful tool. Now its almost as though everyone who has access to the internet can establish an indentity for themselves, which is in many ways much larger than they can ever hope to do without the internet. That leads to interesting results motivated by the psyche, as Ive just described. 

It would be very interesting to explore exactly how a persons activities online, read against his/her psychological profile ? or maybe someones already done that, I gotta get googling.

Harold and Srivats get caught speeding, Da ..

Seattle is a funny place. Its a very liberal city. (Obama rocks, as they say). There are more libertairian and Minarchist discussion groups here than anywhere else in the states, they say. Ive been to these meetings, but thats not what im writing about.

On my way there, i got pulled over by a cop for speeding. I was running at 60 in a 40 mph road. The cops here are very different compared to the ones we find in India. No 'beer belly', handlebar moustache, or the feeling that your purse is gonna get flushed. 

The cop walks over to the car window, and I ask him after lowering my window - 'what seems to be the problem, officer ?' all in an indian accent. He gave the 'wtf ?' look, and said ...

cop - 'You were driving at 65 mph on this road sir.. is that correct ?'

me - 'yeah, maybe, but i wasnt at that speed for long officer, just the occasional burst, you know its impossible to maintain constant .... blah... also, blah ...'

cop - 'yeah. sure. can i see you're license, sir ?'

me - (here we go) 'k, here'

cop - 'this is an indian license, sir'

me - 'really ? i mean, yeah, it is..'

cop - 'u need to apply for an international drivers license in washington state to own/drive a car, sir'

me - 'yeah, but i moved here a week ago, an blah, more blah...'

After that, he was getting pretty serious, and indicated that I might need to come 'downtown'.

me - 'what ?? why ?'

cop - 'i see that ur partner in crime isnt here with u'

me - 'huh ?'

cop - 'is ur last name coomar ??'

me - 'yeah ?'

cop - 'so wheres harold, mr coomar ?'

Thats when I got the joke. It was a good laugh, and then he said my indian license would definitely not work. I said alright, and got let off cos it was my first time. Infact, the surname Coomar hits a chord of familiarity with the people here, so much so that I do not have to spell out my name each time I make reservations at restaurants and wait at the barbers. I think i'l use it more extensively, now on...

Well, Theres Tamil, and theres French, Da ...

All of us have an adventure when we're on long distance flights. Especially if you have funny people sitting beside you on these long hauls.

I was heading for Paris from Madras by Air France (which the french pronounce 'Fronse'). Anyways, it was a 10 hr flight, leaving madras at something like 1 am. There were a horde of students headed to the US to do their MS. I met 3 people from my college there, which is blogpost material in itself, but the people who ended up sitting next to me are the post-centric topic.

The guy on my right was working for cooper industries, married, and the usual indian emigrant. The girl on my left is the inspiration for this post. She spent half her time sleeping, so i cuddnt really break the ice. When she did wake up, I dint see any enthu to open a conversation from her side, so i threw open a line.

'So, ur headed to the US to do ur MS too ?'\

Girl - 'enakku tamil matrum fronse mattum thaan theriyum' (i know only tamil and french)

ZONK. what ??, hang on, did i miss something ?? is this a bad excuse to not have a conversation with me ?

yep. sounds like that. But then, i dont give up easy.

me - 'neenga US ku mel padippu panna porengala ?' (headed to the US for higher studies ?)
Tamil French Girl (TFG) - 'Oh! Tamil theriyuma ungaluku ?' (hey! u know tamil!!)

(the conversation represented in english henceforth for the benefit of my worldwiode audience)

me - 'yeah yeah, im from madras, lady. was brought up there..'
tfg - 'oh alright! i was in madras for 7 years before my family shifted to paris. I studied in a tamil medium school, and then shifted to paris, where I dint have an english medium education. sorry if i startled you!'

me - 'oh no, its just that i havent met anyone whos bilingual and doesnt talk english!'

tfg - 'blah blah'
me - 'blah blah blah'

(and then the casual 'state of the world' talk, the 'tamil vs hindi' VS 'english vs french' talk, and the 'pink panther' talk)

I made a good friend on the plane, and theres nothing of note in the rest of the conversation, except that i found it very hard to talk in tamil alone, and not use a single word of english.

That just goes to show that im a victim of the cultural genocide. I dont know what my first language is, english, or tamil. ive never bothered to learn to read or write tamil, a fact which im not very comfortable with. Its one of those rare moments when I agree with politicians fighting for the compulsory tamil education in schools.

The reason software is released in spanish, french, and other languages is cos the consumer base refuses to use english as a mode of communication. We indians dont insist on using hindi, or tamil or telugu or whatever - we adapt, and in that process, lose our identity. Atleast I know i have.

moral of the story - i need to work on getting back to my roots. Its double let down for me since ive spent all my life in india.

Its all cos of the Inflation da...

I was the acting beast of burden for my mom the other day near kapaleeshwar kovil, where exists a large vegetable market (mandi). My mom was complaining about the rising prices of tomatoes, beans, and rice among others, while the shopkeepers were shouting their prices at the top of their voices.

I wasnt the only mule around - almost every mom was accompanied by a highly disinterested son or husband whose sole purpose was to carry the bags. (earlier : "no ma, i cant come with you, ive got work to do". mom - "im getting old! i do so much! no one helps out!! ... blah!!". me - "okokokokokok... il come". mom - "great!")
Anyways, we were talking about all the chaos 'the inflation' has caused in its wake, and stopped at a seller's cart. He was quoting a price per kilo which was Rs 5 more than what my mom bought stuff for the previous week. She started arguing, and the seller returned fire.
seller - Adhellam yinfayshin ma (All that is because of the yinfayshin, lady)
mom - no dude, no way. im paying you what i paid last week

seller - its not my price lady,its yinfayshin
mom - what?
seller - YIN-FAY-SHIN

mom - (at me) whats he saying??
me - what??

seller - the prices rising lady, YINFAYSHIN

Wisdom dawned. INFLATION. the semi literate seller was trying to explain to us that his extraordinary markup on vegetables was because of the inflation.

What is noteworthy here is the power of media. Turns out that news and events transmitted thru english and regional language channels have a wide reaching audience which not only digests news, but is also discerning and relates to the news items it is familiar with. we settled the bill somewhere in the middle of what mom wanted to pay, and what he wanted her to pay.

The power of media is reaching new heights. If only we could use it to disseminate knowledge where its needed most....

Au revoir, IIM Indore..We come to it at last, Da ...

2 years. Thats how long they say it is. It certainly didn't feel as long; yet, i cant ignore the degree of change in everything that defines me - Ideology, beliefs, knowledge, character and personality.

Ive never stayed out of home, having been a day-scholar(day sci) all my life. So the first few weeks here at Planet I was something radically different for me. Be it the classes, the CP (class participation), the food, the language - everything.

I spent the first day running around the hostel premises in circles not knowing where my room was - it was a confusing maze, comprising of 5 blocks, A through E. I was initially put up at C 318, top floor, C block. I couldn't sleep at all for the first 2 days that i spent here; the excitement just did not die down. On the third day, my parents saw me off and returned home to Madras. It felt very strange, as though it would be the last time they would see me as the man they knew. It was. In my time away from home, Ive changed a lot.

The first few days were spent in getting to know people; both seniors and those in my batch. The language problem was very apparent now, and i felt the need to learn it. Thus began my active role in trying to understand spoken Hindi. I made good progress, and am proud of it. The next few weeks were spent trying get the hang of the academic system here- credits, DCPs, quizzes, End-terms, Midterms, Projects, Group Work, and the likes. I met my study group the first time during a microeconomics assignment, and got to know them better during subsequent meetings.

After that, I began making friends outside the confines of both my section and my study group. With that, came the ubiquitous trips to Indore city. The institute was roughly 20km away, and hanging out involved booking a cab and hurrying back before 11pm. With that, i was acquainted with Hindi film music. There was a lot that i had missed living in Madras, and this was my chance to catch up.

Then came 'positions of responsibility', serious stuff here in B schools, and i was eager to take it on and prove myself. I saw my first student body election, and contested. Later, Came summer placements; a testing time for the batch, arguably one of the foremost catalysts in cementing our unity. I was down when the first day went by with no news of success, I felt elated when my efforts paid off the second day, which quickly vanished, replaced by sympathy for the people i knew who were still in the process of getting placed. The whole process ended soon, bringing color back to peoples faces after days of restlessness.

Post summers, the academic workload increased, and so did plans for the career. My stand(s) on career choices (Fin Vs Marketing) was something of a running gag (explained in a soon to come post). Then we went around India on our summer internships, learning a considerable lot about corporate life. (No, its no where near the rocket science i thought it to be).

We came back, only to be torn asunder under the rule of electives. The finance and marketing students rarely saw each other in the same class, excepting common subjects and compulsory courses. The second year saw a lot of extra curricular activity, and some bearing fruits (Asia Moot Corp 2008) and some not. I learn't more than what i learn't in the entirety of the first year working on those projects.

Finally, its placement time. Things are beginning to heat up, with placement dates nearing. The last week on campus brings back fond memories of the place i called home for almost 2 years.

Here, at the end of all things, I cannot but help but wonder where the 2 most awesome years of my life went. I cannot imagine going to work, or coming back home and not have someone call me and say, 'Dude, lets hit the night canteen' or 'Dude, two and a half men season 2 episode 8 rocks!! download and watch it now!!' or 'Dude, u gotta this assignment man...'(refer this for more info on this statement)

Au revoir, IIM Indore, Im proud to be one of the myriad whom you've nurtured over the past decade.

We'll be extinct in no time, Da ...

I read an interesting article on business week today. It detailed the double standards adopted by top US firms as far as the environment goes. Apparently, 3 major US firms (GE, Caterpillar and Alcoa) sit both on the USCAP(US Climate Action Partnership), a body actively seeking to reduce CO2 emissions and save the environment, and on the board of CEED (Centre for Energy and Economic Development), which opposes major climate-oriented policies, such as the 65% reduction in emissions by 2050.

Manic Hypocrisy. One wouldnt expect the top of the fortune 500 to 'engage in activities leading to a greener future'. Logical Deduction - we'll be extinct in no time. Face it - even the companies who want to give up their polluting ways cant, cos the competition will beat the crap out of them if they do. Most eco-friendly practices cost money. Unless they become the industry standard, no one will conform to such ideals. Soon, mankind will develop weapons and machinery capable to sucking the planet's surface clean of all life and sustenance. Despite pleas from protesters, governments in the developing world will endorse such programs, seeking monetary gains. We will, in about 3 centuries from now, rid the planet of all life other than ourselves.

'Greed is good', says Gordon Gekko. '..captures the evolutionary spirit' he adds. At first sight, it seems plausible. Necessity is not the only mother of invention. Greed is what fuels efficiency. 'Want' has separated itself from 'Need' and grown enormously.

As with every other rhetorical statement, it is flawed. The human race has conquered all other competing species by cooperation. It is our teamwork which has ensured our survival over countless millennia. Therefore, what the global top ten must learn from this adage is that there shouldn't be a need for govt restriction on Carbon Emissions. Cartels which adopt pro-environment stances are needed to fight the gordon gekkos in the 500.

Next - the long awaited movie review !! (Jodhaa Akbar - opinions, spoilers(if any) and historical trivia). (a treat to my imaginary fan base) :D

Chennai SuperKings, Da ??

The book review was up next, but couldnt let this slip past my list of posts.

Fact : Im dont watch sports. May be because i didnt play too much as a kid, may be because the sheer commercialisation of the holy arenas of competition - I dont watch sports.

The buzz around college recently was the next big thing in Cricket - the IPL. City based teams were set to emulate the premier league-esque county style cricket in India. Apparently, a 20-20 tourney has been scheduled for the april of this year. Whats worse, all the newspapers are now raving about the amount of money each team is willing to pay for securing theur choice of players.

The guy called Dhoni now costs about 1.5 million dollars. Thats 600 Lacs in INR. Thats how much he gets each year for 3 years until his contract ends. Plus, he'll be playing for 'Chennai SuperKings'.

2 questions - Why spend so much on something which is, after all, a sport? and, WTF are SuperKings ??

Second question first - SuperKings - like saying, "Machan, Nee Sooper King-u da!' - (dude, ur a super-king)(meaning, 'dude, ur great!') (enlightenment thanks to Robin )Still, what kind of monkey crap is 'SuperKing'?? and if dhoni becomes captain, he'll be the king of the superkings. Im sure he's looking forward to that appellation.

Why spend so much? - Im not complaining. Even if spent on stupid, inane, mindless activities such as cricket, spending is good. it drives the economy forward. It creates livelhoods. It creates value(literally) where there was none. Dhoni will buy a new car with his money. The car company will pay workers for assembly/maintenance. Dhoni will drive his new car with IOC premium petrol, buy accessories from fancy stores, get it serviced twice in 3 months, all of which contributes in small amounts to the smooth running of the economy.

In this way, a ripple effect surges thru the economy due to Dhoni's spending. Now, one can always argue that the money can be better spent by the right people whose very intention is to drive the economy forward (me, for instance :D), alas, these thoughts are in vain. True, it will be better in the right hands, but i like to believe that the money is best spent by the person who earned it. This is because of what i'd like to call 'Personal Utility'. Only the dog knows the value of the bone. Similarly, India Cements isnt just paying Dhoni 600 lacs, but is paying 600 lacs of it's money for him. Therefore, the full value of those 600 lacs can only be understood by the company itself. Hence, regretfully, i must concede that this mindless ritual actually has positive effects on india as a whole.

Every transaction is designed to enable value addition for both parties. Thus, a value chain of sorts can be conjured to explain how Dhoni will enrich India with his spending.


Dhoni > Car company -> Pays dealers, Workers, Govt (tax), Insurance company etc

Dhoni -> Buys a house -> Pays Broker, Govt(fees and property tax), Insurance company, Employing labourers for construction/house work etc


Now, Let is consider X Ltd, a company recently launching a childrens education fund with 600 lacs


X - Fund - Educates Children - X claims 'CSR', stock price doubles, the world is happy - World shifts focus to Ozone Depletion, X suspends activities when no one is watching, invests in 'Green World' marathons and other banalities.

Dhoni is the best recipient of the money, closely followed by jobless critics of the game like myself. I rest my case.

Whats with the tubelights, Da ??

The minority always suffers. Opinions and standards are for the exclusive use of the majority. Only a set of very influential, small number of people can disprove this conjecture. Unfortunately, Fans of star trek and star wars hardly qualify as influential. We've seen and heard jokes about 'trekkies', as the fans of Star Trek are called in the US. This is a first hand account of the crap a ardent star wars aficionado gets from imbecile peers.

I dont call myself 'Jedi' or call my religion that, but have some admiration for the series as a whole and have followed both the movies and spin offs in other media diligently. There are a species of boring morons(BM) only found on Planet I (IIM Indore).

This species has the following peculiar behavioural characteristics; their responses to certain stimuli presented within quotes.("") (note : thoughts to self made within brackets)

1. (When im watching the movie/episode in my room) "Hey!! Tubelight Fight!!! go back, i wanna see it from the beginning.... dont these guys get an electric shock??" (Dude, go watch prison break... hath saale )

2. (With facebook's nominate ur friend application; most like to) "swing green tubelights at people thinking he's darth bader" (Its red lightsabre, moron, and its Vader, as in Vladivostok)

3. (on gtalk) dude, share that Star trek episode 6 on the LAN. (may god have mercy on your soul)

4. (on watching the movie...)"Dude!! this is amazing..." (Great!! another fan in the making - perhaps he realises that buddhism is the inspiration for lucas' 'jedi code' ). "the tubelights can get switched ON super fast, Da!!!".(oh crap..)

5. (Star Trek 11 trailer had been released) "Wont that idiot george lucas stop with 6 already...??"

Its amazing how we know nothing about the sci fi genre of books and movies in India (My apologies to the hard-core sci-fanatic reading this, im only trying to make a point). Is it just that the cultural disposition toward 'unearthly' themes is that of ridicule, or has it just not taken off owing to not-so-widespread literacy ??

Im now starting on the Illuminatus Trilogy; not sci fi at all, but good reading nonetheless.

Next Post : First Ever Movie/Book review !!! (a treat to my whopping 8 rss subscribers and 10 average daily unique visitors) (:D)