Lets go Clubbing da...

Ok, all city folk know that you aint no cool until you go clubbing.

When I landed in madras a while ago, some old friends of mine also flew down, and we really did not have much to do except meet up at the beach, eat someplace, talk for a while and and then go home. Thats when somebody came up with the 'lets go clubbing' idea.

Apparently, there are a large number of pubs and discos in madras, and clubbing is a major activity of the hip and cool. It usually involves payment of some kind of fee to enter the pub or disco, and inside theres some really loud music and other stuff going around.

Confession - I havent been to one of these places since my awesome experience in the second year of college. I wasnt blogging then, so heres the summary of that event - I went in, couldnt see much cos the lights were bad, couldnt hear much cos the music was loud, friends got completely sloshed and had a real bad headache after I got back home.

Realisation - nothings changed. The lights have gotten a bit worse, but apart from that, nothing. A friend i knew knew someone who knew someone else, so our entry was 'taken care of'. We went down some wierd looking catacomb like thing and entered a predominantly green looking room, with smoke and rays of light going thru the air. It was like something out of a bad LSD commercial, if they were allowed to make one.

So we got around to catching a place to sit, and ordered some snacks, but never got to talk. So much for catching up. We quit the joint asap, and headed straight down to the beach. My impression of the clubbing activity has sort of gone down this week. Doesn't appear as cool as it used to in college.

I went back home and hit the urban dictionary, and looked up clubbing :

1.	clubbing	380 up, 115 down
	A favourite activity of the moronic majority, this involves being shunted like cattle into a converted warehouse... sadly not to be slaughtered, but to wear ridiculous trendy clothes, listen to crap eardrum-shattering music, try to pick up brainless members of the opposite sex, and generally stand around aimlessly in a desperate but pointless attempt to show how cool you are. "Wanna go clubbing tonight?"

Looks like I'm not the only one.

Well, Theres Tamil, and theres French, Da ...

All of us have an adventure when we're on long distance flights. Especially if you have funny people sitting beside you on these long hauls.

I was heading for Paris from Madras by Air France (which the french pronounce 'Fronse'). Anyways, it was a 10 hr flight, leaving madras at something like 1 am. There were a horde of students headed to the US to do their MS. I met 3 people from my college there, which is blogpost material in itself, but the people who ended up sitting next to me are the post-centric topic.

The guy on my right was working for cooper industries, married, and the usual indian emigrant. The girl on my left is the inspiration for this post. She spent half her time sleeping, so i cuddnt really break the ice. When she did wake up, I dint see any enthu to open a conversation from her side, so i threw open a line.

'So, ur headed to the US to do ur MS too ?'\

Girl - 'enakku tamil matrum fronse mattum thaan theriyum' (i know only tamil and french)

ZONK. what ??, hang on, did i miss something ?? is this a bad excuse to not have a conversation with me ?

yep. sounds like that. But then, i dont give up easy.

me - 'neenga US ku mel padippu panna porengala ?' (headed to the US for higher studies ?)
Tamil French Girl (TFG) - 'Oh! Tamil theriyuma ungaluku ?' (hey! u know tamil!!)

(the conversation represented in english henceforth for the benefit of my worldwiode audience)

me - 'yeah yeah, im from madras, lady. was brought up there..'
tfg - 'oh alright! i was in madras for 7 years before my family shifted to paris. I studied in a tamil medium school, and then shifted to paris, where I dint have an english medium education. sorry if i startled you!'

me - 'oh no, its just that i havent met anyone whos bilingual and doesnt talk english!'

tfg - 'blah blah'
me - 'blah blah blah'

(and then the casual 'state of the world' talk, the 'tamil vs hindi' VS 'english vs french' talk, and the 'pink panther' talk)

I made a good friend on the plane, and theres nothing of note in the rest of the conversation, except that i found it very hard to talk in tamil alone, and not use a single word of english.

That just goes to show that im a victim of the cultural genocide. I dont know what my first language is, english, or tamil. ive never bothered to learn to read or write tamil, a fact which im not very comfortable with. Its one of those rare moments when I agree with politicians fighting for the compulsory tamil education in schools.

The reason software is released in spanish, french, and other languages is cos the consumer base refuses to use english as a mode of communication. We indians dont insist on using hindi, or tamil or telugu or whatever - we adapt, and in that process, lose our identity. Atleast I know i have.

moral of the story - i need to work on getting back to my roots. Its double let down for me since ive spent all my life in india.

Its all cos of the Inflation da...

I was the acting beast of burden for my mom the other day near kapaleeshwar kovil, where exists a large vegetable market (mandi). My mom was complaining about the rising prices of tomatoes, beans, and rice among others, while the shopkeepers were shouting their prices at the top of their voices.

I wasnt the only mule around - almost every mom was accompanied by a highly disinterested son or husband whose sole purpose was to carry the bags. (earlier : "no ma, i cant come with you, ive got work to do". mom - "im getting old! i do so much! no one helps out!! ... blah!!". me - "okokokokokok... il come". mom - "great!")
Anyways, we were talking about all the chaos 'the inflation' has caused in its wake, and stopped at a seller's cart. He was quoting a price per kilo which was Rs 5 more than what my mom bought stuff for the previous week. She started arguing, and the seller returned fire.
seller - Adhellam yinfayshin ma (All that is because of the yinfayshin, lady)
mom - no dude, no way. im paying you what i paid last week

seller - its not my price lady,its yinfayshin
mom - what?
seller - YIN-FAY-SHIN

mom - (at me) whats he saying??
me - what??

seller - the prices rising lady, YINFAYSHIN

Wisdom dawned. INFLATION. the semi literate seller was trying to explain to us that his extraordinary markup on vegetables was because of the inflation.

What is noteworthy here is the power of media. Turns out that news and events transmitted thru english and regional language channels have a wide reaching audience which not only digests news, but is also discerning and relates to the news items it is familiar with. we settled the bill somewhere in the middle of what mom wanted to pay, and what he wanted her to pay.

The power of media is reaching new heights. If only we could use it to disseminate knowledge where its needed most....

Au revoir, IIM Indore..We come to it at last, Da ...

2 years. Thats how long they say it is. It certainly didn't feel as long; yet, i cant ignore the degree of change in everything that defines me - Ideology, beliefs, knowledge, character and personality.

Ive never stayed out of home, having been a day-scholar(day sci) all my life. So the first few weeks here at Planet I was something radically different for me. Be it the classes, the CP (class participation), the food, the language - everything.

I spent the first day running around the hostel premises in circles not knowing where my room was - it was a confusing maze, comprising of 5 blocks, A through E. I was initially put up at C 318, top floor, C block. I couldn't sleep at all for the first 2 days that i spent here; the excitement just did not die down. On the third day, my parents saw me off and returned home to Madras. It felt very strange, as though it would be the last time they would see me as the man they knew. It was. In my time away from home, Ive changed a lot.

The first few days were spent in getting to know people; both seniors and those in my batch. The language problem was very apparent now, and i felt the need to learn it. Thus began my active role in trying to understand spoken Hindi. I made good progress, and am proud of it. The next few weeks were spent trying get the hang of the academic system here- credits, DCPs, quizzes, End-terms, Midterms, Projects, Group Work, and the likes. I met my study group the first time during a microeconomics assignment, and got to know them better during subsequent meetings.

After that, I began making friends outside the confines of both my section and my study group. With that, came the ubiquitous trips to Indore city. The institute was roughly 20km away, and hanging out involved booking a cab and hurrying back before 11pm. With that, i was acquainted with Hindi film music. There was a lot that i had missed living in Madras, and this was my chance to catch up.

Then came 'positions of responsibility', serious stuff here in B schools, and i was eager to take it on and prove myself. I saw my first student body election, and contested. Later, Came summer placements; a testing time for the batch, arguably one of the foremost catalysts in cementing our unity. I was down when the first day went by with no news of success, I felt elated when my efforts paid off the second day, which quickly vanished, replaced by sympathy for the people i knew who were still in the process of getting placed. The whole process ended soon, bringing color back to peoples faces after days of restlessness.

Post summers, the academic workload increased, and so did plans for the career. My stand(s) on career choices (Fin Vs Marketing) was something of a running gag (explained in a soon to come post). Then we went around India on our summer internships, learning a considerable lot about corporate life. (No, its no where near the rocket science i thought it to be).

We came back, only to be torn asunder under the rule of electives. The finance and marketing students rarely saw each other in the same class, excepting common subjects and compulsory courses. The second year saw a lot of extra curricular activity, and some bearing fruits (Asia Moot Corp 2008) and some not. I learn't more than what i learn't in the entirety of the first year working on those projects.

Finally, its placement time. Things are beginning to heat up, with placement dates nearing. The last week on campus brings back fond memories of the place i called home for almost 2 years.

Here, at the end of all things, I cannot but help but wonder where the 2 most awesome years of my life went. I cannot imagine going to work, or coming back home and not have someone call me and say, 'Dude, lets hit the night canteen' or 'Dude, two and a half men season 2 episode 8 rocks!! download and watch it now!!' or 'Dude, u gotta this assignment man...'(refer this for more info on this statement)

Au revoir, IIM Indore, Im proud to be one of the myriad whom you've nurtured over the past decade.

We'll be extinct in no time, Da ...

I read an interesting article on business week today. It detailed the double standards adopted by top US firms as far as the environment goes. Apparently, 3 major US firms (GE, Caterpillar and Alcoa) sit both on the USCAP(US Climate Action Partnership), a body actively seeking to reduce CO2 emissions and save the environment, and on the board of CEED (Centre for Energy and Economic Development), which opposes major climate-oriented policies, such as the 65% reduction in emissions by 2050.

Manic Hypocrisy. One wouldnt expect the top of the fortune 500 to 'engage in activities leading to a greener future'. Logical Deduction - we'll be extinct in no time. Face it - even the companies who want to give up their polluting ways cant, cos the competition will beat the crap out of them if they do. Most eco-friendly practices cost money. Unless they become the industry standard, no one will conform to such ideals. Soon, mankind will develop weapons and machinery capable to sucking the planet's surface clean of all life and sustenance. Despite pleas from protesters, governments in the developing world will endorse such programs, seeking monetary gains. We will, in about 3 centuries from now, rid the planet of all life other than ourselves.

'Greed is good', says Gordon Gekko. '..captures the evolutionary spirit' he adds. At first sight, it seems plausible. Necessity is not the only mother of invention. Greed is what fuels efficiency. 'Want' has separated itself from 'Need' and grown enormously.

As with every other rhetorical statement, it is flawed. The human race has conquered all other competing species by cooperation. It is our teamwork which has ensured our survival over countless millennia. Therefore, what the global top ten must learn from this adage is that there shouldn't be a need for govt restriction on Carbon Emissions. Cartels which adopt pro-environment stances are needed to fight the gordon gekkos in the 500.

Next - the long awaited movie review !! (Jodhaa Akbar - opinions, spoilers(if any) and historical trivia). (a treat to my imaginary fan base) :D

Chennai SuperKings, Da ??

The book review was up next, but couldnt let this slip past my list of posts.

Fact : Im dont watch sports. May be because i didnt play too much as a kid, may be because the sheer commercialisation of the holy arenas of competition - I dont watch sports.

The buzz around college recently was the next big thing in Cricket - the IPL. City based teams were set to emulate the premier league-esque county style cricket in India. Apparently, a 20-20 tourney has been scheduled for the april of this year. Whats worse, all the newspapers are now raving about the amount of money each team is willing to pay for securing theur choice of players.

The guy called Dhoni now costs about 1.5 million dollars. Thats 600 Lacs in INR. Thats how much he gets each year for 3 years until his contract ends. Plus, he'll be playing for 'Chennai SuperKings'.

2 questions - Why spend so much on something which is, after all, a sport? and, WTF are SuperKings ??

Second question first - SuperKings - like saying, "Machan, Nee Sooper King-u da!' - (dude, ur a super-king)(meaning, 'dude, ur great!') (enlightenment thanks to Robin )Still, what kind of monkey crap is 'SuperKing'?? and if dhoni becomes captain, he'll be the king of the superkings. Im sure he's looking forward to that appellation.

Why spend so much? - Im not complaining. Even if spent on stupid, inane, mindless activities such as cricket, spending is good. it drives the economy forward. It creates livelhoods. It creates value(literally) where there was none. Dhoni will buy a new car with his money. The car company will pay workers for assembly/maintenance. Dhoni will drive his new car with IOC premium petrol, buy accessories from fancy stores, get it serviced twice in 3 months, all of which contributes in small amounts to the smooth running of the economy.

In this way, a ripple effect surges thru the economy due to Dhoni's spending. Now, one can always argue that the money can be better spent by the right people whose very intention is to drive the economy forward (me, for instance :D), alas, these thoughts are in vain. True, it will be better in the right hands, but i like to believe that the money is best spent by the person who earned it. This is because of what i'd like to call 'Personal Utility'. Only the dog knows the value of the bone. Similarly, India Cements isnt just paying Dhoni 600 lacs, but is paying 600 lacs of it's money for him. Therefore, the full value of those 600 lacs can only be understood by the company itself. Hence, regretfully, i must concede that this mindless ritual actually has positive effects on india as a whole.

Every transaction is designed to enable value addition for both parties. Thus, a value chain of sorts can be conjured to explain how Dhoni will enrich India with his spending.


Dhoni > Car company -> Pays dealers, Workers, Govt (tax), Insurance company etc

Dhoni -> Buys a house -> Pays Broker, Govt(fees and property tax), Insurance company, Employing labourers for construction/house work etc


Now, Let is consider X Ltd, a company recently launching a childrens education fund with 600 lacs


X - Fund - Educates Children - X claims 'CSR', stock price doubles, the world is happy - World shifts focus to Ozone Depletion, X suspends activities when no one is watching, invests in 'Green World' marathons and other banalities.

Dhoni is the best recipient of the money, closely followed by jobless critics of the game like myself. I rest my case.

Musings of the Idle Brain ..

The moment of truth had finally come. The last of the exams were ended, and the long trip home began. With Indore being one of the few cities that had virtually no air access, save the monopolistic reign of jet airways and Indian, our trip was destined to be by the great Indian railway. The Grand Trunk express line was over a hundred years old. It was by this line that we departed Bhopal at 7 in the morning, after a delay of over2 hours. The wait was excruciating; dirty waiting halls, hangover from loss of sleep, and biting cold. We took occasional trips to get some coffee and fruit juice, which all meant facing the much colder outside. In one of these trips, srini came across a roadside poha stall. Amazingly, this little place sold steamed poha at 4 in the morning. Rajesh ordered himself a plate and the rest of us eagerly expected a positive reaction so we could dig in or order more. After a long 5 minutes, he gave the thumbs up and triggered srini to order another one. When rajesh returned his plate, the guy at the shop simply wet it and gave the ‘clean’ plate to srini. This instantly killed all our appetites and brought us back to reality.

This leads to a very interesting question. Is the mind the reason for my hangover? Was I simply exhausted mentally? Or does the body and mind work in synchronicity, giving signals of fatigue only when the human body really needs rest? For the small amount of time that all of us were waiting for rajesh to sample his poha, we simply forgot our fatigue. We were instantly energetic, and literally jumping around.

So is the mind simply a defense mechanism? Does it only prevent a massive energy loss by convincing the body that is it indeed in need of rest? The matrix showed how humans connected to an elaborate network known only as ‘the matrix’ feel pain and other nerve impulses by virtue of the brain. Therefore the only logical conclusion is that the mind has a more profound impact on our thinking and feelings than what is perceptible. This leads us to many more questions about the nature of consciousness. So when is an object alive? Does sentience prove existence? Or does the presence of a soul prove it? Second, what is the soul?

Anyways, here we are at the end of day 1 of my train journey. We spent the entire day either sleeping, Playing ‘Uno’ or cracking jokes which would otherwise be classified as ‘kadi’.

Day 2 didn’t begin on any auspicious note, per se. I woke up with a sprained neck, due to my using the laptop case as a pillow. The downside of sleeping 6hrs on the previous day was the lack of it during the night. I had to literally cry myself to sleep, only to wake up at 5 am the next day. i.e. today. We passed a station called sulurpetta at about the time I woke up. If its one thing we can thank the British for, it’s the extensive Indian railway. It played a vital role in bringing the nation together. Its this networking that all us managers are taught to do at every good B School. Essentially, the railways provided a means of contact between towns and villages of different cultures etc, which is what a manager is expected to do if he wants to establish himself in all the corporate circles. This analogy is not without its flaws, but it sure is good time pass.

This brings me to discuss one of rajesh’s statements – ‘all in life, be it love, marriage, or your work, is pure time pass. Nothing holds value in the long run.’ This had two reactions from my side. First was my not-so-obvious contempt for nihilists, The second was a confusion regarding whether this guy really was a nihilist. Nihilists were followers of Fredereich Nietzche – an 18^th Century philosopher who was a proponent of the ‘nothingness’ school of philosophy (nihil – latin for ‘nothing’). In his POV, belief in nothing was the key to a blissful life. Now, what rajesh had said doesn’t exactly fall into this category, but rather led me down a path I didn’t want to believe. He was, in reality, stating one of the fundamental tenets of advaita philosophy – ‘all is illusion’. What he meant by time pass was not a condescending disbelief, but a rhetoric aimed at telling me the impact of ‘maya’ in all our lives. So what is the exact picture? What can give man the everlasting happiness that he craves so much?

I suppose even Ayn Rand cannot answer that question, but she tries ever so hard. Right now, we are crossing the station of arambakkam, and the scenery on either side is simply breathtaking. It’s a pity us city dwellers miss out on this beauty for the sake of convenience. Maybe this is why environmental activists fight tooth and nail to preserve what is left of the natural home we were given to begin with….